Trying Times

I write a lot about all of the fun/funny things that happen with our family, but if I truly want to document our lives, I have to admit that it's not always rainbows and butterflies around Casa de Cochran. These past few weeks have been rockier than normal.

I want to make sure I write this down for two reasons. One, so that I can remember to thank God when we come out on the other side of it. And two, so that someday when my girls have kids of their own, they can see that parenting isn't always easy, but it's always worth it!

Recently, the girls have been giving me a run for my money! Delaney is super sensitive and we've noticed some major mood swings. She can be playing happily by herself, with friends, or with Harper and one little thing will happen to set her off. She gets her feelings hurt so easily, has some serious sibling rivalry, and can go into full-blown tears at the drop of a hat. It drives me crazy when she plays the victim role. Like when she says, "None of my friends like me because they can't come outside to play." I try to make her understand that it has nothing to do with them liking her, it's just that sometimes other families are busy. I guess that doesn't compute in her little 4-year-old mind. I've read that it is important to help kids understand what they are feeling, so I try to ask her if she's mad, frustrated, sad, jealous, or if her feelings are hurt. It's actually kind of cute to here her say, "Mom, I'm frustrated with you because... (fill in the blank)" or "I'm jealous of Harper because she is sick and you are taking care of her instead of me." I'm working on trying to find a balance between being empathetic and not coddling her too much.

And Harper, oh Harper! I personally have never met a more strong-willed child. I hope that it translates as "passionate" as an adult :) At least three times a day, Harper will have an all-out tantrum about something. It usually involves me trying to get her dressed or trying to do her hair or trying to change her pull-up. Or me trying to do anything for her. She is Little Miss Independent and always wants things to be on her terms. Sorry, Chickie, life doesn't always work that way! I know she loves me, she will tell me so. However, sometimes it just doesn't feel like it when she's screaming and trying to kick me in the face. It takes everything in me to keep it together and, honestly, I'm not always successful. I've raised my voice and given her spanks more times than I care to count.

Things all came to a head on Sunday, the 10th anniversary of 9/11. It was a day when you were supposed to love your family more, hug them more, tell them how much they mean to you, and cherish every moment. As I wrestled with Harper to get her to lie down and listened to Delaney whine about not getting to watch a show before nap, all I could feel was, "I give up! I'm done!" I felt like a horrible mother and failure that day. Thankfully, Allan was off work and told me to go lay down for my own nap, then encouraged me to go for a run after I got up. It helped!

I have prayed (begged!) God to give Allan and me wisdom in raising and disciplining our girls, especially during these "trying times." I get so scared because sometimes I feel like I'm getting glimpses into what the teenage years could look like - lots of screaming, door slamming, and tears. Trust me, I don't want to be best friends with my daughters and I know that it won't always be smooth sailing, but I pray that we have a good, healthy relationship as they grow older.

***In full disclosure, I have to admit that my own mood hasn't been the best this past week and I was more irritable than normal. Thanks mother nature and hormones and PMS! (Can you imagine those teenage years, when all three of us women are hormonal?!?) Poor Allan!!